If you have teens with a phone, there’s a good chance they text you. You likely have a family group chat where they message to get a ride, or send things they find funny, or confirm schedules; whatever the medium may be, they text.
They likely text their friends, but for some reason that I can’t understand, it’s rarely through the phone’s actual text messaging system.
Instagram DMs are one popular place to communicate, with a flurry of photos and conversations happening constantly, or so it seems. I can imagine that Meta is loving the extra usage data these conversations by young people bring to their platform.
As a marketer, I know that many conversations about brands happen where companies can’t see them—like in private messages, group chats, or in person. But it’s important to remember that apps like Instagram, Facebook Messenger and TikTok each handle privacy and encryption differently (and in ways that I can't begin to understand). Not all private messages are fully private, and in many cases, companies can still access message content or metadata—like who you talk to and how often. That’s why it’s important for us, as parents, to be informed and to talk with our teens about how their data might be used, even in places that feel private.
It’s important that we reflect on our own usage, too. I, like many other parents, use DMs on Instagram, although I’ve basically ditched Facebook Messenger. I have WhatsApp for a small family group chat. I primarily use actual text messaging for close friends and family.
Is offline the new group chat?
There is one place getting more attention lately for increasing the quality of conversations: in-person. I’m attempting to show up more with people and I see kids doing it more, too.
The more I return to the root of connection with coffee chats, backyard visits and the phone (yes, I have been calling people on the telephone!) I realize that it’s such a pleasant way to chat, and it’s needed.
I’m not convinced my kids will start to love the phone (although they do send voice memos so maybe that’s close enough), but the in-person visits are also a hit with their family and friends.
I love it when the kids make plans on their own to go hang out together. Not that it wasn’t a thing before, but my kids became teens in the age of the pandemic. It was harder to plan random get-togethers and the uptake since then hasn’t always been easy. So it’s especially nice to see them reconnecting in person and getting back to some of those pre-pandemic ways of communicating – spontaneous hangouts, shared time, just being together without a screen as a mediator.
Friday nights when I was a teen was a rotation of going to someone’s house, although we rarely knew who until the day of. I want more of that in-person connection for my kids.
And myself.
In a fully online world, can we, at least in part, embrace being offline again?
Related resources:
Building Better Tech Habits: A Guide to Digital Well-being
Raising Digitally Resilient Kids – self-guided workshop
Screen-Free Week (May 5-11, 2025)